Thursday, September 22, 2005

Non-Waterproof Mascara is a No-no


Showbiz okrayan would not be complete without my favorite bitch, Kris Aquino. This happened eons of Sundays ago right after Kris was dissed on national TV by the Justice Secretary no less.

Kris Aquino was leaking black ink last, last Sunday on The Buzz! I thought for a minute she just came from shooting a scene where people had to throw creek mud at her face. For a celebrity who fancies herself a fashionista, this is a major faux pax. Noynoy must be thinking: “bye-bye political aspirations…so long presidency.” And her (not so famous) privacy-loving sisters must be raving: “Having a child out of wedlock with a married man is fabulous. Publicly admitting you contracted VD from your lover is cool! Having a fiance who is young enough to be your younger brother is super-duper trend setting. However, what is uncool is not using a waterproof mascara when you are about to go on a scripted crying jag infront of the cameras. How can you ever face our amigas from the alta sosyedad with our heads held high!” Meanwhile, Cory is hiding under her bed in shame because she knows she’s to blame for this catastrophe that became Kris. For those who don’t know, ad whore Kris is endorsing this low-end line of make-up, which is owned by a friend of her mother’s. Pictures of Kris, presumably wearing the make-up in question, litter along the MRT. It shows her in different types of moods, one of them a constipated Kris. We know you can cry at will now. But chrissakes! Cry in the privacy of your home first before leaving the house!

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