Denise Cornejo: What I Like About Her

This latenight-booty-call-gone-wrong headline news is all over the newspapers, afternoon news and primetime news. Bong Revilla is one lucky SOB because once again a scandal broke out to eclipse the theatrics that was Bong Revilla's privilege speech a few weeks back.

Anyhoo, I'm not rehashing all that has happened. We have newspapers and youtube for that. I'm writing to wax poetic about the three things I like about Denise Cornejo: her middle name, Millinet; her before and after physical transformation; her mouth; and her being a motivational speaker.


Her middle name is unique, don't you think? Too bad, she went about making herself famous through the most conventional means - attaching her name to a popular name and the rape accusation, which, to me, is a softcore version of a sex tape. Oh, well. We can't all be geniuses like Albert Einstein. I'm not saying her part time job is accusing men of rape and extorting them (with an accomplice, of course). I'm saying there are shameless hussies who will say she's been gang banged to get her 15 minutes.

Denise's newer, much improved cara - I loove it! The extensive cosmetic procedure is the work of a miracle doctor with a magic scalpel. The facially challenged wants that doctor's number right now and plastic surgeons who are not that doctor want to know where he/she lives and what his/her daily routine is. If you know what I mean.


I also love how Denise's resume mentions her being a motivational speaker. My idea of a motivational speaker is this guy, or maybe even this guy - not a 22 year old woman who lives in a borrowed condo. But what do I know? Perhaps, Denise is very good at motivating with her mouth.

Yeah, her mouth. It must be talented. Imagine, meeting a foreign guy and said guy allowed her to live in his rented condo after just a few days of knowing each other? Her mouth must be oozing with charm to con  to persuade the guy to camp out somewhere else. Or does the man also lives with Denise in the condo? I don't know. With all all these stories and angles cropping up this anything is possible.

I'm not going to say who's lie-telling and who's not. That's for the court to decide, and the party with the strongest connection evidence hopefully wins. But these are my final words on this whole sordid affair, and let me say them succinctly - to Vhong Navarro - KARMA - and to Cedric Lee - rich scum.

Kris Aquino Cries Again and It Is Over Some Prisoners

Oh, Kris you still can't cry like a good actress. I watched a snippet of Kris Aquino on her TV show, SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon), discussing how she feels about the recent release from prison of the soldiers involved in her dad Ninoy Aquino's assassination in Aug 1983. All I heard her say was "blah, blah this, blah blah that." Okay, I got the gist. She's really sad that the prisoners were released because an injustice was done to the Aquino family! Really, I had to change channels immediately because I was getting uncomfortable watching her emote. I switched channel before I figured out if Kris Aquino was attempting to cry and not succeeding, or she's just really constipated.

On a serious note, can the Aquino family please come down from the cross because a lot of people could really use the wood during these tough times? Seriously, they are known as devout Catholics, especially their matriarch Cory Aquino. Isn't one of the teachings of Catholicism "forgive those who have trespassed against you?" ( If it is not, please forgive). So, how come they cannot forgive the soldiers who have been languishing in prison for more than 20 years? Is it because mga Ilustrado sila, and they do not think that this teaching applies in their situation because "they have suffered so much?"

Personally, I believed those soldiers are victims too because they did not act without the orders of Somebody, whom the Aquino family should really hate and curse to high heavens.

Ruffa Mae Quinto Cries and I Laugh

Okay, I know I am going to hell for this, but Rufa Mae Quinto must be an effective comedianne because I snort, even laugh, when I see her on TV bawling her eyes out over some controversy she's involved in. Obviously, the issues are serious enough to warrant tears from the girl, but I just can't empathize or even be sad with her. Last year, she was involved in a catfight with Jessa Zaragosa over, who else, Dingdong Avanzado, Rufa's ex and Jessa's husband. Early this year, she was, allegedly, involved in the break up of "doctora to the stars" Vicki Belo and her younger son, err, young lover, Hayden Kho. They also have a sex video to boot. I can't focus on her tears or the sadness on her face whenever she was being interviewed because I am busy hanging on to her words, or lack thereof. You see, I noticed, true to her being Bobita, that she can't quite finish her sentences. For example "No, Dingdong did not find me ano, please naman. Or "Basta ganun, eh." Or Para namang, di ba?" OMG! You don't find that even slightly funny? It's just me? Ok, I am on that bus going to hell.

Non-Waterproof Mascara is a No-no

Showbiz okrayan would not be complete without my favorite bitch, Kris Aquino. This happened eons of Sundays ago right after Kris was dissed on national TV by the Justice Secretary no less.

Kris Aquino was leaking black ink last, last Sunday on The Buzz! I thought for a minute she just came from shooting a scene where people had to throw creek mud at her face. For a celebrity who fancies herself a fashionista, this is a major faux pax. Noynoy must be thinking: “bye-bye political aspirations…so long presidency.” And her (not so famous) privacy-loving sisters must be raving: “Having a child out of wedlock with a married man is fabulous. Publicly admitting you contracted VD from your lover is cool! Having a fiance who is young enough to be your younger brother is super-duper trend setting. However, what is uncool is not using a waterproof mascara when you are about to go on a scripted crying jag infront of the cameras. How can you ever face our amigas from the alta sosyedad with our heads held high!” Meanwhile, Cory is hiding under her bed in shame because she knows she’s to blame for this catastrophe that became Kris. For those who don’t know, ad whore Kris is endorsing this low-end line of make-up, which is owned by a friend of her mother’s. Pictures of Kris, presumably wearing the make-up in question, litter along the MRT. It shows her in different types of moods, one of them a constipated Kris. We know you can cry at will now. But chrissakes! Cry in the privacy of your home first before leaving the house!