Let's Give a Toast to Solenn Heussaff! (hick!)

Soleen Huessaff is fighting mad over reports that she was a drunken mess during her Lenten break in Boracay that she couldn't walk under her own steam .

Solenn Heussaff is taking on one reporter who wrote about her drunken antics, but she might as well be battling the mafia that is the local entertainment press, both legit and fly-by-night.

Here's the news tidbit that so pissed off Ms Heussaff:

“Mukhang in-enjoy nang husto ni Solenn ang kanyang bakasyon sa Boracay. Unang gabi pa lang niya ay nagpakalasing na ito nang husto kasama ang mga kaibigan. Namataan siya kinabukasan ng alas singko ng umaga na nakabalik sa hotel na binibitbit na lang dahil sa sobrang kalasingan.”

Through Black Berry Messenger here's what Ms Heussaff has to say for herself. It's so long and incoherent in some cases that it reads like a drunk person letting out all the injustices that the world had dealt her infront of her drinking buddies.

So I'm breaking her ramblings to pieces for it to make sense.

I’d like an apology, I’m very offended by what he has written since what he said is false. I didn’t go to boracay to get drunk, I went to relax and have fun with my friends. Obviously easter in boracay is known for the parties, I’m not going to deny that I didn’t go out and have a few drinks. why go to boracay holy week if your planning to knit a sweater. But what he wrote is pure hallucination. I never got hom drunk like he stated or carried by men... Did go home at late hours in bora with my friends and would always swim before heading to the hotel with my girl friends.”

I love the Holy Week. Every year I look forward to reading the drunken and crazy antics of celebrities as well as feeling celebrities who go to Boracay to rest and unwind. There was this cat fight between the now defunct Sex Bomb dancers and some person who hates music. Another year there was this bloody fight between ex-lovers Alex Crisano and Ethel Booba. Boracay and Holy Week have yet to fail me.

I don't blame Solenn from partaking of the sweet nectar, never mind that it's the Holy Week.

C'mon, after being called a 'bimbo' in a French-produced documentary, who wouldn't drown their international humiliation with several glasses of alcoholic drink?

The French crew are ingrates after getting help from Solenn's French father, I agree. But Solenn and her father should have found out first what the documentary is about.

At the very least, Solenn should have asked for the title. The docu was "Stories of Gangsters, Drug Lords and Bimbos." How much more enlightening could it get? Dumbass probably assumed the docu will feature the beautiful girls of the Philippines frolicking at the beach - while their gangster and drug lord sugar daddies look on.

I don't have an issue with Solenn fighting with a reporter over an alleged false report. But to call out knitters of sweaters?

How dare you, Solenn?! Are you saying sweater knitters can't go to Boracay to knit sweaters? Sweater knitters are a dying breed as it but to kick them while their down? That's dark sided. I can only assume Solenn was kicked out of her knitting club as a child and has been plotting to take them down since then.

Gurl you're a lush so just own it. Don't drag the innocent sweater knitters into this mess.

Seriously, this issue is not a big deal. Get over it. If your not thick-skinned enough for show business, then switch to the business of knitting and knit in peace.

Baron Geisler Is in Rehab - or Not

Actor Baron Geisler is in rehab following another of his drunken groping of his female co-stars. After the daughter of Yayo Aguila and William Martinez, and Yasmin Kurdi, Baron's latest victim is Cherry Pie Picache, his co-star in the teleserye Noah.

Before going to rehab, Baron appeared in The Buzz, a PR move designed to ensure that Baron still has a career to go back to post rehab. I think that appearance did not help much seeing that after Boy Abunda made Baron the victim to show Cherry Pie that you do not say no to Boy Abunda and The Buzz.

I don't personally believe that Boy Abunda would stoop to that level. He played psychiatrist on that interview. How dare we even think that The Boy Abunda would play that kind of game?

Boy Abunda has elevated showbiz tsismis to new heights, don't you know? The way he announces those showbiz news on The Buzz just makes you believe that what Boy Abunda is reporting is very important in the grand scheme of things.

So back to Baron and his drunken ass. Is he really in rehab? That is the question. Baron remains unrepentant and unremorseful. He's a drunken mess full of excuses. Yeah, your house burned down twice. Get over it and talk to a psychiatrist. In lieu of an expensive psychiatrist, find a religion or found one. Just spare the public of your life's tragedies. A great majority of people have one or two. You're not special in that regard.

While it's hard to form a sentence with Baron and rehab in it, I believe that Baron was left with no choice. He was declared 'persona non grata' by the local talent managers association. Who will give him work and who will work willingly with him? Baron has no choice but to cool his heels in rehab while his team of enablers work to resuscitate his crumbling career.

Meanwhile his No 1 enabler, I mean his manager, swears that Baron is in rehab. In fact he proudly reported that Baron tested negative for illegal drugs. Right! Like that makes a big difference.

After rehab, we'll we see a new Baron- a Baron who looks like he doesn't smell and who just got out the shower? Will we see a Bible-quoting Baron in his post-rehab incarnation? We will see after 90 days.

Baron Geisler Is An Alcoholic - Dionne Monsanto. DUH!

Dionne Monsanto, a former girlfriend of human brewery Baron Geisler, announced that Baron Geisler is indeed alcoholic. Well, duh! Everybody knows this fact except Baron Geisler. Dude is still in denial and his enablers as well.

To all those wondering who Dionne Monsanto is, she was a former housemate on Pinoy Big Brother and a sometime actress. I remember reading she and Baron was caught inside a car doing what couples do when they are parked somewhere dark. Of course, they denied it. Siya, nandun kayong dalawa sa kotse at naghihintay ng mirakulo. [wink, wink]

Dionne is also girlfriend-boyfriend with Alex Anselmuccio, the Italian cutie from Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition 2, the love interest of Beauty while inside the house and the guy who got circumcised on national TV. [Why do I know all these useless information?] Yes, Alex is also the piece of wood we see acting in the ABS-CBN teleserye Tayong Dalawa.

I read Baron Geisler said once [referring to his turbulent current life] something like he doesn't consider himself to be having problems because he's still in his early 20s. He would admit to having problems when he reaches 30s and he is still living the same life. I would like to say "Shut up and just look pretty." But I can't say that will all sincerity. So I'm just gonna say "Shut up, dude!"

If you can't say no to liquor and stuff, then you have an alcohol problem no matter what your age is. If I can smell your stank from way over my computer, then you have an alcohol problem. And if by some bad luck I get close enough to you and I get a hang over tomorrow, then you have an alcohol problem.

Baron should detox somewhere quietly asap. Dude's probably always too drunk to separate real from reel. He plays mostly bad guys on screen and probably carries that over to his real life. Dude can't tell the difference.

Baron, if you're still not convinced you have a problem, try looking at your before and after pictures. I did while googling for pictures of you. They tell the truth of what you're still too afraid to face.

Baron Geisler Accused of Sexual Harrassment by Yasmien Kurdi

LushActor Baron Geisler is again accused of sexual harassment, this time by Kapuso star Yasmien Kurdi. This fucker doesn't know it yet, but he needs help. Badly. I can smell the alcohol wafting from Baron from my computer screen. This alcoholic bastard needs to be locked up. It will probably do him good, seeing that he can't stay away from alcohol. I don't care if he's a good actor. He is still pervy and sleazy.


Full story below.

Yasmien Kurdi and her lawyer Ferdinand Topacio went to the Women and Children Protection Center of the Philippine National Police at Camp Crame in Quezon City on Monday, 25 May, to file acts of lasciviousness complaint against actor Baron Geisler, who joined GMA Network recently.

Aside from acts of lasciviousness case, Kurdi also filed a complaint of unjust vexation against Geisler.

The two first met on May 19, but the incident happened during a taping for a new GMA show last May 21.

According to an article on Philippine Entertainment Portal (PEP), Baron reportedly approached his co-star, Yasmien, and then, without warning touched the actress’ body.
PEP quoted an unidentified non-showbiz source as saying that Baron looked strange during the taping of GMA-7's upcoming primetime telenovela Suspetsa, directed by Mark Reyes.

The source said: “Una, nagla-laptop si Yas [Yasmien's nickname]. 'Tapos nakikitingin lang si Baron. 'Tapos kinalkal [ni Baron] gamit ni Yas. Noong nagpapahinga na si Yas sa tent niya para matulog, tinabihan bigla ni Baron. Niyakap siya. After no'n, while on take, dapat beso lang daw yung scene, pero tina-try siya halikan."

PEP added: “In a scene where Yasmien, who was wearing a dress, was supposed to go up a spiral staircase, Baron, according to the source, waited for Yasmien to go up "para silipan."

After the take, Baron, said the PEP source, masturbated in front of Yasmien.

Jennylyn Mercado, and Yasmien's personal Assistant (PA) reportedly saw the scene. The PA was able to record the incident with a cell phone camera, according to PEP.

PEP reported that Baron has apologized to Yasmien, claiming that he could not remember doing what he was supposed to have done. Kurdi has not withdrawn her complaint.

Geisler's counsel Carlos Alentajan declined to comment because he has not yet received copies of the complaints.

Geisler has previously been accused of the same offense by the 21-year-old daughter of William Martinez and Ma. Rosario “Yayo" Aguila-Martinez.